He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
