Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize