meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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