love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
