We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize