I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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