do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
