I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
