she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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