We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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