You surviving the open bar?
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He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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