Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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