I cockslap morals
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
