if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
