protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
