eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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