I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize