Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
