Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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