Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
