He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
