We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
