They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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