after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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