just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
