I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize