Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
