So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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