oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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