dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
