I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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