I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
