Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
