somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
