so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
