I could make wine with my vomit
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
