so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
