I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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