I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dignity is for republicans.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
