I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
