oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
