I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
