The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
