Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
