Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
