I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
