he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
North Korea, Best Korea!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
