remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
