so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize