you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it because I queefed?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
