Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I could fuck to npr.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
