I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
