i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
