It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
