Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Your penis caused this!
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