if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
