I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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