Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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